You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
whose ass print is on the piano?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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