I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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