After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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