I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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