You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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