If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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