im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
