I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Barsexuality is the new black.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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