He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
