Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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