chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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