This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize