i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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