Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
