good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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