what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
