I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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