Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize