Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
