Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
