I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
