The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize