god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
