I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
