She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
