C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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