i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
