Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
