Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We need to get me chipped asap
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize