Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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