Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
