umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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