i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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