what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
