I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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