Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
