So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
