3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
