I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Panties = found
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