Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize