You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize