The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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