he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
