can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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