I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I will be naked everywhere
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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