I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
