She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
