I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
