I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
