so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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