Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
