so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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