hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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