Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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