I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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