wrigley field is MILF paradise
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
