Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
