i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
