She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
