I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
