Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
