we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
