You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize