I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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