i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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